{I am the Problem}

October 29, 2014

I am my problem | http://www.themcbaileys.com

I wrote this post three weeks ago. It’s been sitting in my draft folder staring at me. This happens to me often. It happens when I write something I’m worried people won’t like. It happens when I write something that might be a tad controversial. It happens when I put things out there I’m worried my family might get pissed about. It happens when I write from my heart and my head. It happens often.

I usually don’t push publish these. I have about 20 just sitting in draft. It’s not light, it’s not funny, it’s not even remotely satirical {which if you read my usual posts you know is most definitely out of character}. It’s real. It’s raw. It’s emotion. And sometimes, I just need to put it on “paper” and hit the publish button to make myself feel good. To make myself feel better about myself. To say that I admitted it. I took the first step. So I hit publish this morning. Here goes nothing…

It’s midnight. I’m laying in bed. Andrew is snoring next to me. I hear cat paws softly walking across the room. My heart is racing. I can actually hear my heart beating in my ears. My brain is on overdrive. The list of to-dos has become unbearable. I’m considering getting out of bed just to take care of a few before the sun rises. I don’t. I know even if I do, the list will just grow in size tomorrow. It’s no use, I’m drowning in to-dos. I have no idea when I fell asleep. I just know the last thing I thought was “I can do this. I can handle all of this. You’re okay Megan.”

I woke up the next morning and realized, I have a problem. That problem, is me. I am the problem. I have unrealistic expectations. For life, for myself, for my husband, for my daughter, for everything and everyone. Which makes me wonder, am I alone? Am I the only one? At what point do you expectations become unrealistic? Is there a tipping point I should be made aware? I’m assuming it’s a personal tipping point. But perhaps there is a general one that someone could share with me.

At any rate, I know it’s me. I know it is my expectations that are making that bubble form in the back of my throat some days. You know the one. It starts to rear its head when you are on the brink of tears. It begins with the feeling a little bit like you are going to suffocate. Instead, a tiny tear starts to form in the corner of your eyes. Your vision begins to blur a little. And then you blink them back. You get your sh*t together. And you say to yourself “SNAP OUT OF IT. You’re fine! You’re life is cake compared to other people.”

I quickly realized that day that I needed to take some of my own advice. I needed to stop comparing myself to others. I needed to start putting myself in other people’s shoes. THAT was my problem. I was overwhelming myself. I was irritated at others because of how overwhelmed I was. WHO DO I THINK I AM??? *shaking my head*

Yes, I’m busy, but so is everyone else. Of course I would have called and checked-in, but that’s me, not her/him. Sure, that was a short response, but maybe they don’t have a ton of time. Yep, that’s how I do things, but my way isn’t for everyone. No, they didn’t check on me, but that’s okay, they need me now. Yes, I’m trying to do my best, but maybe they want more from me that I just can’t offer right now. No, that doesn’t seem like a big deal to me, but maybe that’s huge in their life, so respect that. Heck yea life is a tiny series of tornadoes, but it is for everyone else too.

I’m busy. You’re busy. I’m overwhelmed. You’re overwhelmed. I’m on the brink of tears. You’re on the brink of tears. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is just trying to make it. So stop thinking your nanny quitting, husband traveling, not-so PT schedule, rash covered daughter, two-job having, not enough hours in the day life is sooooo crazy compared to everyone else Megan. It is crazy. But so is their life. Life is crazy. But life is also a lot of fun.

So today, I’m going to put on my big girl pants and smile, laugh, and not think everything is such a big deal. Because when it is all said and done, I’m only one person. You are only one person. Say it with me ” I am only one person.” There aren’t enough breaths in this lifetime to worry about some of the silly things I’ve been worrying about lately. Quit it with the unrealistic expectations Megan. Just stop. It’s not helpful and it surely isn’t healthy. I’m only one person. I’m trying, I really am. I’m trying. And that is perfectly fine.

Hugs and Love from TheMcBaileys.com

{ 4 comments }

Get Rid of Your Keurig | www.TheMcBaileys.com

Today is National Coffee Day and I love coffee. I mean, LOVE coffee. I can’t drink it past 2pm otherwise I’ll be up until the wee hours of the morning cleaning the tracks in my windows and having conversations with myself, but I love coffee. It’s part of my morning ritual. It gets me jazzed for the day. I love the warmth as it hits your sternum, the smell entering your nose and instantly hitting your tastebuds at the same time, and the way it warms up the entire house in the morning. I almost sound like an addict, don’t I? When we received our Keurig as a gift three years ago I thought my life was finally complete. No more brewing pots of coffee, wasting precious fuel because it wasn’t consumed, cleaning the carafe, emptying the grounds, messing up the measurements for the perfect tasting cup, you know, all of the annoyingness that comes with a traditional coffee pot. I sang the glories of the Keurig for years, until yesterday…

Yesterday, while sitting on the sofa drinking my cup of coffee, it just didn’t taste like the amazingness I remembered of my beloved coffee. And I had to fill up that freaking tank again because it was empty, after three cups of coffee {two for husband, one for me…and momma needed another one}. So, I started thinking about the Keurig and wondering if it was all it had truly cracked up to be. Which really means I started looking on the internet machine to “research” my beloved Keurig. What I found made me want to hurl. I actually did hurl, I hurled that cup of coffee into the sink. Noooo thank you Keurig.

Unlike a traditional pot of coffee, where the water completely expels itself, the Keurig sucks up water into the internal tank and it hold it there to heat it up for your next cup of coffee. It always has this coffee in the internal tank waiting for the next cup. Forever. Do you know what that means? Do you? Think about that….Yes, THAT. So for me, that meant that when my Keurig sat in storage this summer, for 4 weeks while we waited for our house to be built, there was water sitting in that tank. My bad on not emptying the internal tank. I totally didn’t think about it, until now. My Keurig was sitting in a box, in a storage pod, outside, in the South, in the summer. Are you throwing up yet? That means that water was getting all hot, and moist, and growing all sorts of moldy deliciousness that I just brewed right back into my first cup when we moved in. {insert gag face} And also, think about it. That tank inside has never, ever, been cleaned. In the past three years. {insert gag face + small bits of throw up} You can empty the tank, and you can run some vinegar or their branded cleaning solution, but is that truly going to remove the grime and slime? Does “emptying” it even matter really? I’ve run those vinegar cycles soooo many times. Not only is it extremely time-consuming, I’m not 100% confident it got that nasty internal tank clean. Oh dear…

Then, plastic K Cups. Can that be good for you? Hot, almost boiling water, pushing my water through foil and plastic holder, into my cup? I read this article, and they think not. Also, when I put those in the trash, since they aren’t recyclable yet {Keurig used to have a FAQ about this, but has since removed it from their site. I believe the are currently R&D’ing that with a year 2020 goal}, what in the world am I doing to the landfills? I’m no tree hugging gal, but I am a tad conscious about the amount of coffee the husband and I drink. I swear we could own a portion of Dunkin Donuts corporate at this point in our coffee loving lives.

So yesterday, while sitting on the couch, not loving my cup of coffee, I made the decision to go out and buy a traditional coffee pot. Yes, I’ll have to clean the carafe {I had to clean the external Keurig tank weekly and the internal tank once a month any way} and yes, I’ll have to empty the grounds {I had to throw out the KCups any way}, BUT, I won’t be worried about drinking hot mold, I won’t be worried about plastic dripping into my water, I won’t be refilling that dagon external water tank every 10 minutes, I won’t need to wait two cycles to fill up my travel mug, and I won’t be trashing the environment with my discarded KCups.

I realize these all may seem silly and miniscule to you, but yesterday when my husband and I were talking about it we both agreed the time had come to let the Keurig go. It was a sad sad day, but also {we felt} a wise decision. So while I didn’t technically throw in the trash, it is in a box in the basement. Don’t worry, this time I actually did empty the internal tank before I put it to rest {sometimes my blonde self CAN follow directions}.

What do you think? Am I being crazy? Do you think I made a mistake?

Hugs and Love from TheMcBaileys.com

{ 4 comments }

5ThingsYouDidntKnowAboutYourHusband

I’ve been married now almost 3 years {in just a few short weeks}. Now, you’re probably saying “ohhh you are still newlyweds!” Yes, we are. That being said, I’m here to tell you a few things you didn’t know about your husband, until after you married him.

  1. He Believes in Fairies
  2. It’s true, he does! I promise you. You are going to be floored once you realize he believes in toilet paper fairies, dish washing fairies, laundry fairies, the possibilities are endless. FAIRIES EVERYWHERE. Yea, see he apparently believes that magical fairies dart around your house, on their sparkly little wings, delivering toilet paper when rolls are empty, putting the dishes in the dishwasher when they are left in the sink, and they even do the laundry and put it away. His belief in the supernatural will come as a surprise to you, so I’m glad I’m here to prepare you. You’re welcome.

  3. He Really Cannot Hear You
  4. Ladies…ladies. Stop getting pissed. Stop. Okay so you’re pissed, I get it. Click to Continue Reading

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Thankful

It’s the first Thursday in September 2014. This is a big month for me, for our family. This month, Waverly turns one. A whirlwind year comes to a close and a new year begins. Last night, I found an app that allows you to select pictures of your child(ren) from your phone, organizes them by date, and then produces a slideshow from day one to the last picture taken. *Cue the tears* I found myself crying for several reasons. The first was the absolute change that occurs in just 365 days. 12 short months and a tiny little baby goes from just surviving to thriving, walking, talking, relishing in the smallest of joys in life. Like we all should be doing.

The second reason was because there were months I cannot even begin to tell you where I was or what I was doing. And that, that makes you sit back and think about things a little harder. How could I just forget? How could I have absolutely no recollection of anything that took place during a month’s time? I let that time go by and took no mental notes. Am I moving so fast and doing so much that I’m just letting my life slip through the sands of time? It appears I may be. So I cried, like I’m crying now, because I’m questioning everything. But that’s not new. I’m a questioner {is that a word?} and you all know that about me by now. At some point I have to stop beating myself up. But that’s not going to happen until I take a step back and make sure I’m truly enjoying most moments of this extremely short life. It’s a new aspiration. One that I hope, deeply, that I can attain. Because Waverly will never be this small again, I’ll never be this young again, each day we get older, things change, nothing stays the same. I need to make a mental note of that, stat.

Which brings me to Thankful Thursday. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I live a blessed life. I’m spoiled to the core. I have a husband that loves me unconditionally, a daughter who is truly a miracle {and a beautiful one at that}, a job, a roof over my head, family and friends that love and support me, a flourishing side business. I. Am. Blessed. So I’m thankful. I’m thankful for everything. Not just one thing today, ALL OF IT. The sun is shining, the sky is clear, my whole family is healthy, we live in a country that offers the freedom to choose/speak/live the life you want…it’s actually overwhelming once you start to think about ALL of the reasons to be thankful. So what about you? What are you thankful for this first Thursday of September? The green grass under your feet? The heat hitting you the minute you open the front door? The sounds of evening thunder storms? Having another day to take it all in? So many things, I challenge you to name just one!

Hugs and Love from TheMcBaileys.com

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{Sucker for Details}

September 4, 2014

Natural Home Details | www.TheMcBaileys.com

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6

Okay, I admit it, I’m a sucker for details. Throughout this entire process of decorating our new home I find myself drawn to small pieces. Instead of “following the rules” and selecting my large items to ground the room, and then planning around those pieces, I end up finding 10,000 home accents. I end up with huge rooms, with no furniture, but “isn’t that tray so cute?!?!?” Yea, it’s cute Megan. But guess what? I don’t care. {laughing} I’m a sucker for home accents and the little touches. I barely notice large pieces of furniture {unless it is stunning, then I can’t stop ooh’ing and aaah’ing} when I enter a room. I notice the small things. A candid picture of the family, a cool paper weight used as a book end, a tassel hanging from a knob on the built-ins. Yep, I’m a details girl. So anyway, I found the items picture and I’m crushing over them. Those nails… THOSE NAILS! I mean who wants boring nails when you can have brass triangle nails in your wall??? Gaaah.

At any rate, the home decoration marathon continues. Thus the quietness on the blog. Oh and I started an Etsy shop. It’s nothing big and I did it on a whim. Oh and Not to mention 1st birthday party planning. Can you believe it’s almost been a year since our little smiling blonde haired beauty entered this big world? Time, it waits for no one.

So I’m off. Off to decorate this house, indulge plan this party, and figure out world domination what I want to be when I grow up.

What’s new with you guys?

Hugs and Love from TheMcBaileys.com

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I’m on the hunt for dresser knobs. I purchased two nightstands and the knobs are just so bleh. Also, Waverly’s dresser, I’ve just never loved the knobs on that either. They are plain jane silver knobs. So, I started looking online and was extremely overwhelmed by the sheer number of knobs available. I was also astounded at the price! Who woulda thunk it? At any rate, here are some of the ones I’ve been crushing on as of late.

Favorite Dresser Knobs | www.TheMcBaileys.com

1 >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >>

What do you think? Which is your favorite?

Hugs and Love from TheMcBaileys.com

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{Thankful Thursday: August 7, 2014}

August 7, 2014

“Some days you’re the windshield, some days you’re the bug.” – Mary Chapin Carpenter Yes, MCC, yes. Today, I feel just like the bug. *SPLAT* Maybe I’m being dramatic, but let me tell you about this crazy day so far and it’s only 9:25am. I had a dream that I woke up and my master […]

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{Update Your Garage Door for Under $250}

August 6, 2014

When we were building our house I didn’t think twice about the garage door. Rookie mistake #355 of 980. Okay, that’s sort of an exaggeration, but there are so many stupid little things I didn’t think about or even pay any mind when we got into this. It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m making a list. […]

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{How I Manage My Postpartum Depression}

August 4, 2014

Since sharing my story of Postpartum Depression (PPD), many people ask me what it’s like living with the disease. I wish there was an easy answer to this question. Dealing with this disease is a part of my daily life. It’s not something quietly disappears or is all of the sudden better. Most days I […]

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{Thankful Thursday: June 19, 2014}

June 19, 2014

It’s that time of the week – one that I have slacked on for a while. I mean it wasn’t that I wasn’t thankful, it was just that I was…well…busy. So I’m going to due one huge long list of items for which I’m thankful to make up for the posts I’ve missed. Just kidding. […]

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