{5 Reasons Marriage DOES Work}

April 9, 2015

5 Reasons Marriage Does Work | www.TheMcBaileys.com

I’m not sure if you read an article that’s been floating around the internet recently, but a male columnist give the five reasons that marriage just doesn’t work for “our” generation any longer. Take a moment to read that column here.

Did you read it? Okay good. Well, I couldn’t disagree with him more. I think the reasons he provides are cop outs, and actually work in our favor. So here’s my rebuttal and my five reasons why marriage DOES work for our generation, why we CAN handle it, and why we are definitely not setup to fail.

  1. Sex is More Accepted Than Ever Before
    Yes, you read that right. Back when our parents were in their 20s/30s do you think they could go to a sex toy part at their next-door neighbor’s house? Do you think they could quickly pull up a video on their phone? Do you think they could talk to their partner, openly, about what they like, they don’t like? Heck, most of them didn’t even have multiple partners to know what they did or didn’t like.

    See, I think the availability of sex has actually made things a little easier on our generation. No, my sex life isn’t like a porn {I actually would never wish that upon any one}. No my sex life is healthy. Apparently much healthier than my counterparts if I read that column correctly. I still want to rip my husband’s clothes off. I still look at him and think “Man, he’s hot. And he’s mine!” I still thoroughly enjoy our intimacy and look forward to it several times throughout the week. So no Mr. D’Ambrosio, sex is not dead in my marriage.

  2. Finances Aren’t Crippling Us
  3. Yes, raising a family is more expensive than ever. But my husband and I made a decision to live inside our means. I got into debt when I was fresh out of college. I buckled down in my mid-20’s and pulled myself out of $10,000 in credit card debt. I did that by keeping my car until I was forced to get another one. Living further from work. Working extra jobs to make money. And my husband did the same. I refuse to ever be in that situation again.

    To keep us grounded and in our means, we’re pretty frugal. We moved an hour from work to buy a larger home for the same price as our townhouse we sold. I’ve cut costs, made a budget, learned to DIY, and those are just a few things. I don’t think the cost of living is crippling us, I think the idea of what life is supposed to be like is crippling us. We as a generation love things. Lots of things. But do we need those things? No. So maybe we buy less things, stick to a budget, cut costs, work an extra job {Yes, I know that sucks. My mother did it my entire life. IT SUCKS!}…I don’t know, just stop trying to live like people on television and enjoy what we have. It’s working for me and my friends.

  4. We ARE More Connected Than Ever
    Yes, it’s true that from a technology standpoint we are more connected than ever. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I can reach my husband in a moment’s notice if I need to. I can post a quick question on social media and get great recommendations and answers from friends. I can send a text and tell my neighbor to meet me outside for wine on the porch. I can let someone know I’m running late. Are those bad things? Nope.

    Here’s the thing, YOU have to put boundaries on the technology. It’s not technology’s fault if we allow it to get in the way, it’s our fault. To combat technology infiltrating into our lives we have technology time outs. No phones at the dinner table, no phones when out on dates, no email past a certain time. We still hold hands in the car, walking through the mall, and out as a family. We can’t blame technology, we have to take some responsibility for our own actions. I see an ongoing theme here, don’t you – it’s something or someone else fault, not ours. That’s what Mr. D’Ambrosio is saying right? More on that later…

  5. Our Desire for Love Far Outweighs Our Desire for Attention
    This is not a reality show. This is real life. Of course I meet people who care more about how many likes they get, more than they do about anything else. But those people are few and far between and I most certainly do not consider them to be grouped in with my friends. If we are truly talking about real people, people who you and I know, that we spend our time with, do you feel that way about them? Because I know I surely don’t feel that way about the people who surround me and my family. They wouldn’t be a part of my circle if they were. I do not know anyone, who is serious about their life, their love life, their family, their career, who would desire attention more than love. On the contrary all of my friends are the most loving people I’ve ever met. They would give you the shirt off their back. Drop everything in a moment’s notice for you. To garner attention? No, to just show you they care. My friends and family don’t want attention, they want me to know they love me.
  6. I’m Not Inviting Social Media Into Bed With Me
    I will agree that we {speaking as a generation} share more than ever. We probably share too much. Social media has made it even easier than ever to share the nooks and crannies of our lives. But I also firmly believe there is a push from “my generation” to put limits on the sharing. My marriage is sacred. My family is sacred. My moments alone with my family are sacred. Yes, I post pictures of amazing food, because I feel like the restaurant is due credit and I also want my friends to know about another great place to grab a bite. Yes, I post pictures of my daughter, because I’m proud to have even had the opportunity to create human life, because I find her amusing, and because to me she is the most breathtaking human I have ever seen. Yes, I post my feet in the sand, because that is my harmony. But that has nothing to do with my marriage. That has nothing to do with my ability to sustain my relationship with my husband, with my family.
  7. The reasons Mr. D’Ambrosio provided are a complete cop-out. Another reason to blame someone or something else for our personal failures, not failures as a generation. You can’t blame technology for your actions. You, and you alone, are responsible for your actions. I find society as a whole has begun to blame others for their inability to sustain meaningful relationships. The inability to sustain your marriage isn’t about non-existent intimacy, or too expensive houses, or the infiltration of technology. No, the inability to sustain one’s marriage is about decisions. We make decisions every single day that can either keep us intact or tear us apart. Now don’t get me wrong, there are definitely relationships that shouldn’t stay the course. There are instances when two people truly aren’t meant to go the long haul. I’m not referring to every single relationship, so please don’t think I am. I just don’t think it’s fair or reasonable to think that the reasons listed in Mr. D’Ambrosio’s article are real reasons for why we as a generation can’t handle marriage. Not only can we handle marriage, we can flourish.

    Thoughts?

    Hugs and Love from TheMcBaileys.com

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Mia April 12, 2015 at 10:13 pm

Yesssss! I read that article and found myself wondering, even though the author said he wasn’t writing it because of his divorce, if he was just bitter. I mean, sure, people DO get divorced, for all kinds of reasons. But just because they do, doesn’t mean that ALL marriage is doomed, right? It was B.S. And I absolutely agree with your rebuttal. Technology and the economy and social media are not to blame for failed marriages (or successful ones). Nobody ever wants to take responsibility for anything anymore it seems.

Great post, Megan!!

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