Parenting

{Being a New Mom: They Never Tell You…}

They never tell you…the pain you are going to endure to bring your baby into this world. Two weeks later, you won’t remember just how much pain you’ve experienced. You’ll only remember that sweet face and those beautiful little sounds that escape her.

They never tell you…when you have a c-section, you may not get to hold your baby for a few hours after birth, due to the violent shaking from the spinal medication. You’ll watch your family holding her, crying, laughing, and overjoyed. But you’ll sit on the sidelines, fake your smiles, and hold back the tears because you want so desperately to study her face and memorize every feature, let her wrap her tiny hands around your finger, and hold that little human you’ve been carrying for 9+ months. But, when you finally get the chance to hold her in your arms, at midnight, when the hospital is quiet and everyone is sleeping, it will be worth the wait. I promise.

They never tell you…that you’ll be up in the middle of the night, for 3 hours straight, with a baby crying bloody murder, and convince yourself that you can’t do this anymore. You’ll wake up your partner and tell them they have to take the baby from you. You’ll cry for another hour convincing yourself you aren’t cut out for this, that you’ve made a horrible decision, and wondering how you can possibly continue down this path. Then, you’ll wake up the next morning, stare into the face of an angel and forget it even happened.

They never tell you…that you’ll wish those horrible, non-stop screaming, nights and days away, only to wake up the next day and regret wishing those precious moments away. Your baby is only this small once, and you can never get those days/nights back even if they are torture.

They never tell you…you have absolutely no idea what you are doing. You may have taken care of your nieces/nephews, taken some classes, watched a video or two, and read a few books, but nothing will ever prepare you for the first few weeks of your child’s life. Take comfort in the fact that no one else has a clue what they are doing either. We are all just winging it.

They never tell you…that sleep deprivation can ruin your soul. They don’t explain what it does to your psyche, how it makes you feel – like the walking dead. Then one Saturday, your mother will be visiting and will let you sleep a full six hours. You’ll forget for a full week what sleep deprivation was doing to you…and then it rears its ugly head again.

They never tell you…that you are going to cry for two weeks straight. There won’t be a particular reason for your crying, you’ll just cry. Don’t feel bad about it and please don’t try to hide it. Cry my friend, just cry. It’s good for the soul and will allow those crazy hormones to run their course. Right around the beginning of week three the crying will stop {hopefully}.

They never tell you…it’s possible you could develop more than the “baby blues.” Please know that it truly is okay. Do not try to push past it. Tell your doctor. Tell your husband. Tell someone. There are so many women who hide from their postpartum depression and it saddens me. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, no one will judge you, and quite frankly no one has to know {if you don’t want them to}. I’m no expert, but if you want to send me an email, I’m here. I’ll listen, and I’ll definitely understand.

They never tell you…it will take weeks to feel yourself again. Some day you won’t shower, brush your teeth, or get out of your pajamas. You won’t fit in your pre-pregnancy clothes and your maternity clothes will engulf you. You won’t be able to workout, your appetite is non-existent, and when you look in the mirror you won’t see the same person any longer. Just know, you’ll see a better person. A stronger person, a more beautiful person, a mother. And right around week three you’ll start to get in a groove, which will allow you to shower, put on some makeup, and head out into the world as a new mom. A hot new mom.

They never tell you…the pure and immeasurable love you’ll feel for someone you barely know. It takes just one look, a gentle squeeze of your finger at 3am with their tiny hand, a content sigh while laying on your chest after a rough day, a smile while dreaming, signs of voice recognition, the list goes on and on…and the love, the love does too. It cannot be expressed in words, only felt, and it is truly the most joy your heart will ever feel. Welcome to mommyhood my friend, welcome.

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6 thoughts on “{Being a New Mom: They Never Tell You…}”

  1. Oh Megan, I’m crying! Our baby girl arrived Saturday and you’re so right about looking into the face of a sweet little angel and forgetting there was ever a moment of frustration. Our first night home Kenley didn’t get to sleep until 5am.

    Congratulations to you and Andrew on your little one. I can’t wait to see pictures. 🙂 And I must know her name! (I mean, if you’re willing to share.) 🙂

  2. This is lovely, and such a fantastic balance of the tough and joyful aspects of those early months. Beautifully written.

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